Skittles and Unicorns and USUK, Oh MY!
by polandATEmyTACOS
Summary: Warning: pure crack ahead! Dear reader, If you have found this page you are in for a story filled with skittles, AND THEN, unicorns, and a kid riding a goat. Proceed with caution. (This is a reader insert story)(Rated T for language)(2-part story)
1. The cake

Once upon a time a magical person named _ was sitting at her laptop eating pocky. She was on Deviantart looking at pictures of England when all of the sudden England fell out of her computer screen.

And he was all like "TASTE THE RAINBOW BITCH" and starts throwing skittles and scones while riding his magical farting unicorn.

_ threw herself at Arthur "TAKE ME YOU SEXY BITCH!"

Arthur looked at her and frowned, "I can't because I am gay for Alfred Jones"

Then Alfred fell out of _'s laptop and hopped on to the magical farting unicorn.

"ONWARD SIR FARTICUS" shouted Alfred and Arthur simutaneously.

They rode out of the room on a magical rainbow made of skittles.


	2. IS A LIE

Hello everyone. The reason we are here is because someone said that my england x reader crack should have a sequel. And I thought you know what?

Yes.

Yes it should.

It is completley unaccteptable that it doesn't have a sequel.

So ladies and gentlemen. Here is your cracktastic sequel.

Oh and if you don't read REaderx character lemons...Sorry.

warning:some cussing

Three magical minutes had past since Alfred and Arthur left _'s room leaving a mess of skittles behind. She felt quite betrayed. How could Arthur have left had devoted her life to reading fanfictions and creating fanart just about him. And not to mention that she lost her internet virginity over 9000 times reading various england reader x lemons. And now he had betrayed her.

"At least he left me these wonderful skittles." she said popping one in to her mouth and chewing.

And then promptly spitting the candy out.

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF HOLY ROME IS THIS SHIT!"

England had not left her wonderful skittles but instead M&M's.

"AWH HEEEEELLLLL NAWH! EYEBROWS IS GOING DOWN!

NO ONE LEAVES WITH OUT GIVIN MEH SKITTLES AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!"

_ grabbed her wok(which she bought in america but it was shipped over from england but it was made in china but it originated in korea DA-ZE 8D) and ran out the door flailing her arms like a boss.

As she left to run after England she forgot to close her laptop and the screen started glowing.

/Time-skips originated in korea! Da-ze!/

_ had been running all day and was quite tired. She had grown quite hungry too. She knew of a good chinese resturaunt nearby but the idiot who owned the place decided that it was a good Idea only to have it accsesible by drive-through.

But she didn't own a car.

And then she saw her answer. I mean it was if the heavens had opened up and answered her prayers by sending her a kid in a sailor suit riding a goat down the side walk.

_ tore through the park flailing her arms toward the goat that would lead her to delicious victory. Victory that tasted like soysauce. Soysauce and chopsticks. Because you eat chopsticks. Why? because I'm the author and I say so. Anyway back to the story.

"Hey Kid! Give me the goat!"said _ as she tossed the unfortanate child into the trees.

"DEEEEEESSSUUUUU-YOOOOOO~"

_ hopped on the goat and rode her way to GENERAL WANG's RESTURAUNT

Trotting through the drive-through she walked up to the speaker.

"hello I would like to order the Wang's special chow mein with a side of WANG potstickers!" _ said in to the microphone.

"and then?"

"Oh and a side of rice!"

"and then?"

"No that's all"

"and then"

"No really that's all I'm done ordering" said _ confused.

"AND THEN?"

"And then I will throw Busby's chair at you"

"AND THEEEEEEEEN"

"AND THEN, OH AND THEN I WILL SEND THE GREEK ARMY AFTER YOU AND FOR THE REST OF YOUR DAYS YOU SHALL BE SURROUNDED BY HAIRBALLS AND CAT POO AND RUINED FURNITURE..."

"...

...

...

...

...ANDTHENANDTHENANDTHENANDTHEN ANDTHENANDTHENANDTHENANDTHEN ANDTHE-"

"WHATTHEFUUUUUUUUU-*boom*"

At that moment _ became so angry she could no longer hold it. She exploded into a thousand tiny skittles(minus the green ones because those are gross) coating the resturaunt with a rainbow.

A young man in a ponytail ran out of the resturant.

"AIYAH! Now how will I clean this up-aru!?

THE END


End file.
